Friends for a Reason

Many years ago a special lady came into my life, and we shared what we hoped would be a lifetime friendship. We had both recently moved to Hawaii, thousands of miles from family and familiar things, determined to lift ourselves out of the rubble of broken marriages. Inseparable, we enjoyed the treasures of our new tropical home and explored the possibilities for our life journeys.

Then one day she stopped being my friend. I was shattered and frightened. I spent hours scouring my memory trying to discover what I might have said or done that made her slam and lock the door.

A friend from the mainland sent me a greeting card that contained a poem and a note: “Hope this helps you move on. Your journey awaits you.” I read the poem many times and was finally able to soften my grief with joy in the memory of what the two of us had shared.

Looking back over my decades, I can now see the gifts bestowed on me by my many friends and recognize the role they played in the path I’ve traveled. Too bad I didn’t memorize that poem all those many years ago. I could have spared myself one helluva lot of tears and growing pains.

There’s an old Buddhist saying: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” I thank all the beautiful teacher friends who came into my life when I was ready.

Friends for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.


  1. Theresa says

    Another friend of mine recently said to me: “People are disappointing”. She’s totally right. People are disappointing. They’re also amazing and beautiful and mysterious beyond words. I like this reason/season/lifetime thing. It speaks to my experiences as well.

  2. Sherry Coveyou says

    Dearest Ann:

    My eyes are filled with tears
    Because I’ve had a friend for years,
    And she’s gone now.
    “Her job is done”
    And now I am one.

    • says

      My dear dear Sherry – What a stunningly moving poem to your lifetime friend!!! I am so sorry for your loss but believe you blessed to have had such a strong meaningful connection with that special person. Thank you so much for sharing your poem with us here. We hold you close.

  3. Ruth A. says

    I wonder what kind of friend I am. Maybe it varies according to the other person or the relationship. I have met three , no five new women in the past six months who have much to offer and have their needs as well. It will be interesting to see how the friendships sort themselves out over time. As well, I have suffered the loss of a relationship that may or may not have ever been a friendship. I have pondered that, and I remain puzzled. My oldest friend is becoming tedious. She is not my best friend, but all that water under the bridge counts for something, does it not? Another old friend has turned to me as a confident,
    honouring our closeness, trusting me.

    • says

      My dear Ruth – It was your struggle with the “loss of a relationship that may or may not have ever been a friendship” that triggered my memory of that long-ago greeting card poem, my Internet search and discovery of the poem, and my decision to share it here in the Croneicles. As you can see from the other comments, the subject is close to all our hearts. Thank you for the inspiration! Hugs, dear one.

    • says

      Indeed we do, and it seems as we get older, the more reminders we need ’cause it’s so easy to forget the reminder we remembered just yesterday. Ha!!!!

  4. Mary says

    I have been blessed with friends that I’ve had since my teens. It’s hard now that I’ve moved to Texas but we still talk on a regular basis. And we try to get together when I go back to Wisconsin, I also have been able to add friends as I’ve moved through the rest of my life, people I’ve worked with, people who hired me to take care of their pets and people I do yoga with 🙂 . I am very blessed indeed.

    • says

      My dear Mary, with your beautiful sunshine personality I can’t imagine anyone on the planet not falling in love with you instantly. You’re a blessing to all of us lucky enough to know you. Keep on laughing and joking and waving your stubby little raptor arms, and the world will be a better place for everyone.

    • says

      Now, Normie, you’d better be careful getting that old heart of yours pitty-patting too much. There’s no telling what terrible catastrophes might happen worldwide with such a self-indulgent action! Thanks, babe. Glad I gotcha!

  5. says

    Well put!! It does sum up friends and the walk through life’s circles n cycles. Glad we have shared so many during our friendship. We all teach the lessons of life and sometimes don’t even realize it.
    Thank you, dear friend.

  6. Dakota says

    We friends know who we are. Time and distance have no separation of the heart. Tho miles apart I cherish the fun times we have shared in our lifetime. Sorry for the friend who left you behind in Maui. Can’t imagine who that was. They obviously didn’t get the whole you. Just keep doing what makes you happy.

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